10 Things To Do When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

The other day on my Instagram stories, I asked if there was anything you wanted to see in an upcoming post. Several of you asked for tips on what to do when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, so I suppose it’s definitely that time of year; the lazy days of summer are but a distant memory, the happy ‘back to school’ feeling has worn off, but the holidays are still weeks away and now we’re all just feeling overworked and like we’re playing a juggling act.

Since I switched careers, life definitely feels less stressful (not going to lie – this was my primary motivator for wanting to go freelance vs continuing down my corporate career path), but I still know that feeling of overwhelm all too well. You’re under so much pressure at work, you have more deadlines and competing projects than you know what to do with, you’re spending more time at your office than at home, the smaller day-to-day things are slipping, you haven’t had dinner with your significant other all week, let alone called your parents or your girlfriends or found time to go to the gym or cook a real meal or pursue anything else that is not immediately urgent. All the while you feel like you’re juggling and you keep thinking of everything you’re probably failing at.

When that feeling starts to hang around for more than a few days, your body triggers it’s stress defences and goes into fight or flight mode. You need to change pace – fast – before you head for a major case of burnout (speaking from experience…). Here are the defence mechanisms I employ when I can feel that feeling of overwhelm taking hold:

1. Get it down on paper (and out of your head) // No matter what you’re dealing with, having what seems like 1000 thoughts swimming around in your head + all competing for your immediate attention is not going to help matters. First things first: spend 15 minutes writing down everything you’re dealing with and need to accomplish and you can start to prioritise how to tackle everything. Don’t worry about making it neat or orderly – the point right now is just to get it out of your head to free up some of that space that is currently being wasted on stress.

2. Take time out // Once you’ve got everything down on paper and can clearly see the extent of what you’re dealing with, or whenever you feel yourself spiralling into a panic, take 10 minutes to step away and do something completely unrelated. Make yourself a cup of tea, go for a walk around the block, or listen to some soothing music or a meditation app on your headphones and just focus on your breathing for a little while – anything that gets you out of your spiralling thoughts and into the present moment. You’ll come back more equipped to tackle the tasks ahead and help avoid a spike of cortisol (the stress hormone).

3. Divide + conquer your ‘to do’ list // Go back to that list you made in step 1. Break it down into all the areas you’re worrying about or that need your attention (mine is usually divided into: work / blog / home / life admin) and put things in order of priority. Can you delete some non-urgent tasks that don’t really need your attention? Delegate a few others to someone else in exchange for returning the favour later? Simplify and batch some others (so you’re saving time by doing similar tasks together)?

4. Make your ‘to dos’ more manageable // Sometimes a task or project can feel so large that even starting can feel overwhelming. Two things that work for me: 1) break a big task down into more manageable chunks (and satisfyingly cross each part off your ‘to do’ list as you go) rather than trying to tackle it as a whole, and 2) sandwich the big tasks with smaller ones you can blitz quickly. This means you’re motivated by ticking as many things off as possible, but you’re not ignoring the big projects in favour of small details or neglecting the less-intense (but still important) small tasks.

5. Don’t catastrophise // If like me you have a flair for the dramatic coupled with a fear of failure, things can all too quickly spiral. I start to worry about whatever is going on, and then immediately panic about the worst case scenario (which 9 times out of 10 will never come to pass). Whenever you catch yourself worrying about everything that could go wrong, stop those thoughts right in their tracks and instead focus on the facts as they are. There is literally no point wasting time getting worked up over something which might happen or which you can’t control when you should be focusing on what is on your plate right now.

6. One thing at a time // When you’re feeling overwhelmed to the point of extreme stress, your brain will naturally go into fight, flight or freeze mode – making productivity even more challenging. Now is not the time for successful multi-tasking. Instead, compartmentalise your different ‘to do’ lists (e.g. only work on your ‘work’ list when you’re actually at work) and focus on one list and one single task at a time. If you try to do everything at once you’ll achieve nothing well.

7. Practise self-care // Sometimes when you’re at breaking point, you don’t feel you can squeeze one more thing into your schedule. But that’s exactly when you most need some downtime or something to look forward to. See a friend who you know always puts you in a better mood, go for a long walk outside, go to yoga and sweat it out, meditate, or turn off your phone and curl up with an uplifting book or a favourite old movie. We all relax in different ways, but whatever self-care looks like for you – make time for it. You’ll come back recharged and 100% more productive.

8. Accept that ‘done’ is good enough // If you’re anything like me, your perfectionism or fear or failure can be self-defeating – sometimes I’ll get 90% of the way and then when I realise it’s not perfect, give up completely rather than submit something average. Perfectionism is fine when you’re on a relaxed schedule, but can be crippling when you’re on a deadline and feeling overwhelmed by how much you have to do. So sometimes you need to accept that getting the job done well (which is usually good enough by other people’s standards) and moving on is better than striving for perfection and not getting it done at all.

9. Positive encouragement + rewards // For me, positive reinforcement (‘achieve X and you can have Y’) is far more effective than the threat of deprivation or negative repercussions (a former manager always used to employ the particularly demoralising ‘achieve this or you’ll be fired’ approach on a monthly basis), so I’m all about the self-reward method. Whenever you make it through this tough period / nail the presentation / finish that project, reward yourself with something you’ve been looking forward to. Tackled your project for 4 hours without a single distraction? Take a 15 minute break to go and get a coffee from your favourite place. Blitzed all your deadlines? Treat yourself to a massage. Know you have a gruelling three months ahead at work? Book a weekend away at the end of it so you have some R&R to look forward to to help get you through the long hours you’re going to clock at your desk. Which is all a fancy way of saying ‘treat yo’self’ – you’ve earned it!

10.Practice gratitude // One trick that always helps me stop stressing about things I can’t control is to think about all the things – both big and small – I do have and for which I’m enormously grateful (and remembering that there is always someone else who would do anything for the sort of problems I have always helps put things into perspective). Sometimes we’re always striving for the next big thing without pausing to appreciate what we’ve already achieved, so take time to celebrate your wins along the way.

What do you do when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed by everything? I’d love to know your tips too!

Pictured: Figleaves silk pyjamas c/- (similar styles here + here) // Slip silk eye mask // This Works Sleep Spray // Book