10 Ways to Find Balance in Your Life

Hello my lovelies! Firstly, I must begin with an apology for my prolonged absence the past few weeks; anyone who visits often will have noticed my inactivity on here and I’d hate you to think I’m neglecting you all.

The truth is, no matter much I view the world through my own rose-tinted lens and actively seek out pleasure each day, sometimes circumstances can be beyond our control and life can get a little stressful. The dichotomy of my serious political day job and my evening fashion, writing and blogging pursuits are not, I’ll admit, a common combination, but I love the balance of the two and generally merrily juggle each side-by-side. But right now, my day job (to which I am nothing but loyal) is taking a little* more of my time and energy than normal, so other pursuits, by necessity, had to receive less attention.

But because life is rarely constant (and really, wouldn’t it be boring if it were), I’ve been reminding myself of a few important lessons (and learning some others) about finding balance. So when life throws you a curveball or things get hectic, here are 10 ways to find a sense of calm and happiness amidst the stress:

1. Get organised. When things get hectic, it can be all too easy to try and avoid dealing with the situation (a fast route to chaos!). Instead, take stock and neutralise the situation as best as you can by getting organised. Break things into smaller, manageable chunks and set daily ‘to do’ lists you can work towards each day. As humans, we are naturally spurred on by success, so it is immensely satisfying to tick things off like a series of mini-accomplishments. Re-assess each day until things calm down, and take control of any situation before it escalates.

2. Set limits. Recently, I found myself working 60 hour weeks as the norm in my day job which, after travel, sleep and basic daily tasks, left just one hour to do everything else I enjoy each day (which explains why things got a little quite around here…). Needless to say, I was tired, stressed, mentally exhausted and frankly un-productive, and realised that running myself down was helping no one. Because everyone can only be stretched so much, I’m now making it a rule to set limits to what I can reasonably achieve in a day be as strict with those boundaries.

3. Switch off and take time to recharge. When I leave the office each day, I put some happy tunes on my ipod and use the journey home to literally switch from ‘work’ to ‘home’ mode. I’m trying to find moments, no matter how brief, to recharge with some peace and quiet; a good book, a yoga session or wind-in-my-hair bike ride, a favourite movie or a non-essential activity that makes me smile (because no one needs afternoon tea with girlfriends, but oh how fun it is!) If you’re not getting enough ‘happy’ time in your schedule, then literally block out some time (and stick to it!) in your diary each day or week to do something just for you the same way you would any other important appointment.

4. Make peace with the word ‘no’; embrace ‘yes’. When you’re already over-stretched, it’s entirely acceptable to put yourself first and say ‘no’ to absolutely any invitation you’re not enthused about or eliminate things which add little value or pleasure to your life. One of the great joys of being a grown-up is that we’re allowed to say ‘no’ if we want to, and not feel guilty because of it. Conversely, life sometimes throws up wonderful opportunities at the most unexpected moments, so recognise the surprise chances when they come along and say ‘yes’ to a few new things outside of your normal routine. They might just lead you to something wonderful!

5. Be kind to yourself. When stress kicks in, your body goes into ‘emergency’ mode and releases a high dose of cortisol (the ‘stress’ hormone) which, over longer periods, can have detrimental effects on your cognitive processes, weight and metabolism, immune system, skin and just about every other important bodily function. Be sure to counteract the effects by being as good to yourself as you can; eat properly (that means vitality-boosting, nutrient-rich meals rather than reaching for the sugary ‘stress snacks’), get enough rest (because no one can function properly when they’re tired and run-down), make time for your grooming rituals (because when you look good, you’ll feel good), get some exercise (happy endorphins and stress-release), and generally treat yourself with kindness.

6. Nurture an optimistic outlook. Sometimes when things get really hectic, optimism doesn’t flow as freely. But here’s the thing: while optimism seems to come more naturally to some than others, positivity is still a choice. Actively choose to view things more optimistically, and it will be easier to recognise difficult situations as an opportunity to grow and learn a new life lesson, rather than the disaster a pessimist may perceive them to be.

7. Treat yourself to a few small pleasures. Sometimes, a bit of pampering does wonders for a stressed disposition. When things threaten to get too much, I book myself straight in for a massage (my ultimate stress relief), buy myself some cheering flowers, and indulge in a small treat I’ve been longing for. It needn’t be expensive, but it’s important to show yourself kind gestures when you need a little spirit-lifting.

8. Surround yourself with those who uplift you. Who we are is so often a reflection of the company we keep, so make sure that company truly makes you smile and encourages you to be the best version of you (here’s a secret: that person we all know who secretly wants you to fail to make themselves feel better? It’s totally okay to let them go, guilt-free). If you’re having a particularly stressful week, make time to nurture your relationships and see someone you love or send a thoughtful note to a treasured friend.

9. Send out some love. Tell someone you adore just how much you appreciate them, send a surprise letter to a friend, help someone in need, pay a stranger a compliment or practise random acts of kindness. Doing something nice for others releases seretonin (the hormone responsible for feelings of bliss) in the brain, so you’ll feel happier while making someone else’s day too.

10. Feel gratitude. When feeling overwhelmed, focus on all the wonderful things you have already achieved and already have and those positives will in turn appreciate in value. Be grateful for the wonderful things – big or small – that already fill your life and you’ll find a deeper sense of happiness even when things around you are stressful.

How do you find serenity and balance when things get stressful?

Love, Miss B xx

* translation: a lot!

10 Ways To Sparkle More in 2013

Happy New Year my lovelies! I hope you all had a wonderful start to the year? (I kicked mine off as I mean to go on: with loved ones, fireworks, pink champagne and a lot of sparkles).

If there is one time of year that enables us to completely shift our perspective on things, it’s the prospect of a clean slate a new year brings. In 2013, I resolve to view the world through rose-tinted glasses; to find joy in small pleasures and to be a better version of myself. Here are a few of my favourite ways to fastrack to a sparklier year:

1. Don’t save your favourite things for ‘a special occasion’. Life is the special occasion! Treat every day like a party and wear a tangle of your treasures necklaces, a cluster of your grandmother’s brooches, or your favourite party dresses each day.

2. Be kind to your body. Get enough sleep and sunshine, eat well, drink gallons of water and move about. You’ll not only be overflowing with energy, but look gorgeous and radiant too.

3. Practise random acts of kindness. Tell a stranger in the street how great they look, leave a little note with a tip at your local cafe saying how much you adore their cake, volunteer for a worthy local cause. It doesn’t really matter what it is, but doing lovely, selfless things often will make you smile on the inside.

4. Always buy yourself a bunch of flowers. They needn’t be expensive (in spring, I love nothing more than $2 bunches of daffodils and white narcissi on my windowsill), but they will add a loveliness to your home which belies their cost.

5. Reinvigorate your look. If you’re in wardrobe rut, make an effort to do your hair and put on your cutest heels for no particular reason at all. You’ll spend the day feeling that little bit lovelier.

6. Don’t let grey skies get you down. Treat it as an excuse to wear a poppy pink lipstick, an adorable umbrella and perhaps a shot of pastel or fuschia in your outfit (the same optimistic rules apply to bad days).

7. Don’t get stuck in a rut; tweak your everyday routines to make them special rituals. Can’t function without your morning tea or coffee? Have it in your prettiest china instead so it feels like you’re having a tea party every single morning!

8. One day every week (without fail), go on a date with someone you love. It doesn’t need to be grand or over the top. Why not go someone fabulous with your best friend on pay day every single month for a single cocktail? Or get dressed up and go and see a musical you’ve been wanting to see for ages all by yourself? Or a bike ride at sunset with your loved one? Whatever it is, make time for special moments with the people you love.

9. Literally add some sparkle to your home. Buy yourself some (affordable) art that makes you smile. Treasure-hunt some beautiful vintage pink cocktail glasses. String some fairy lights around your doorways, or DIY it and make a garland of glittery bunting to string up across your wall.

10. If you’re feeling uninspired, broaden your horizons. Make plans to take a trip to a city you’ve always wanted to explore, visit a new museum in your area, or go to your favourite bookstore for something wonderful to read this week. Instant inspiration!

Lulu Guinness lips clutch (c/o), Jimmy Choo heels, vintage 1950s pink champagne glasses (found on ebay), ASOS earrings, vintage crystal brooches, Jennifer Loiselle ‘oui’ brooch, pink glass candle votives from Catbird.

What are your goals and plans for the year ahead? Wishing you all a wonderful 2013!

Love, Miss B xx

(This is an edited version of an article I wrote for the Glitter Guide last New Year. See the original post here.)

Wintery Pursuits

This week, the first snow has fallen, Cambridge is resting beneath a powdery blanket of snow, and I am officially in wintery mode.

I always think there is something so magical about this time of year; the peacefulness of the English countryside frosted in white, the sound of the Cambridge college chapel bells ringing out against the lamplit cobbled streets, bundling up against the chill in snuggly layers, and the excuse to spent cold, dark evenings hibernating indoors in style. These are a few of my favourite ways to spend the season:

1. Indulging in all the most wonderful festive traditions. Deck the halls (or at least your own living room), go ice skating at an outdoor rink, listen to carollers singing outdoor, drink mulled wine, bake gingerbread, and snuggle indoors with hot chocolate and the most wonderfully cheesy holiday movies you can find.

2. Spending chilly evenings at a wonderfully grand old theatre or concert hall. Each year since moving to England, I look forward to the English National Ballet performing The Nutcracker (my very favourite ballet) at the London Coliseum, and this year is no different. My favourite Christmas tradition (I feel like an excited small child being read the most wonderful bed time fairy tale as I watch the ballerinas leap and twirl around the stage).

3. Play in the snow. If the snow falls where you live, make the most of it; build a snowman, have a snowball fight, take pictures of your favourite spots beneath a fluffy white blanket and wear your sparkliest jewels and snuggliest layers (but don’t forget the sensible footwear!).

4. Spend an entire weekend blissfully hibernating. When the weather is too cold and grizzly to fathom venturing outdoors, practice the art of blissful hibernation instead. Light your favourite scented candles, put on your favourite tunes, take a bubble bath, drink champagne and watch back-to-back Audrey Hepburn movies.

5. Throw a fantabulous soiree. Host a small but darling dinner party (complete with whimsical party favours), a movie marathon (with a popcorn bar), a board game night (with retro snacks and scrabble boards) or an afternoon tea party for your girlfriends.

6. Try a new recipe. I love putting my stove to good use on cold evenings (all part of the blissful hibernation) and have been baking homemade bread, pears poached in red wine and goats cheese tartlets. Delicious smells make a house feel like a home!

7. Indulge in decadent small pleasures. In winter, when hidden beneath thick, wooly layers, the temptation can be to hop out of bed and into the nearest warm clothes. But in my book, there is something so luxurious about slathering on a layer of decadent body lotion and slipping into the most gorgeous, silky lingerie I own (it’s all the more special because only I know it’s there).

8. Upgrade everyday essentials. As with the above, there is something wonderful about your everyday essentials having a touch of the fabulous about them. I’m gradually replacing all my tights, tshirts, sweaters, nightwear and other ‘ordinary’ wardrobe essentials with beautifully silky versions that feel a little more indulgent (hello, cashmere socks on icy days!).

9. Send a flurry of snail mail to friends near and far. Who doesn’t love getting post that isn’t a bill? Make your dear friends around the world smile with some delightful post in the mailbox. Hand-write a letter, make a list of all the things you love about them, spray it with your favourite perfume, pop in a few things you know they will adore and pop it in the post.

10. Do one thing in your own city you’ve always meant to try. It might be a wonderful museum you’ve always meant to visit, or a restaurant you’ve longed to try, or a neighbourhood you’ve never visited. Last weekend, I was lucky enough to go to the annual Carols from Kings service with the Clever Boyfriend (who is now a fellow at Kings College) – a beloved Cambridge tradition that I would watch on the BBC every year on Christmas Day with my family – and it was even more magical and moving in person and reminded me to always play tourist in your own city.

And with that, I’m off to put on my Ratpack Christmas album!

What are some of your favourite wintery adventures? I’d love to hear!

Love, Miss B xx

P.S. Just a reminder that you can now find me on Pinterest (I even have a board dedicated to my favourite wintery pursuits).