Today is Father’s Day in Australia, so I thought it was only appropriate that I should honour my own dear Father. Like my Mother, my Father has had an extraordinary impact on my life and has taught me more valuable lessons than I can possibly count.
Many of those these have been blatantly ignored (wear sensible shoes, don’t follow fashions), some were my first life skills (how to tie my shoe laces, how to read a book), and others remain my most vivid early memories of fond moments spent with him (learning to ride a bike for the very first time, tending to our beloved vegetable patch in the garden, learning to play the piano, and collecting all manner of substances to peer at under the microscope when he taught me about the importance of science).
He has lived a remarkable life and is an utter genius (so much so that he was knighted for his scientific research 5 years ago), but it is the most basic of his lessons which have left the most lasting impression on me today:
1. Above all, pursue intellectual enrichment. By filling your mind with knowledge, you will have a thirst for life and a constant craving to learn new things. In my household, there were few pursuits more worthy than this.
2. Take time to be silly and have fun. Despite how very serious he can be, I perhaps love my Dad the best when he’s being silly; we used to always make a point of jumping in giant piles of crunchy autumn leaves on our walks around the neighbourhood, he made me a pair of stilts to walk around the garden on (ordinary walking can be so dull…) and still goes dancing every single week. Sometimes there’s just nothing better than to act like you’re 15 again and just have fun.
3. Be in touch with nature. Take long walks in the park, talk to the ducks, grow a garden (even if all you have space for is a single pot on your windowsill), pick food straight from the source. And he is right; nothing is more soul-restoring than an afternoon spent in a beautiful expanse of green space.
4. Explore the world. Wander often, and when you do, really see each new place with an open mind. Learn about other cultures, and different perspectives on living. I was extremely fortunate to travel to the most exotic countries from a very young age, and each trip taught me more about humanity than the entire year spent in the classroom.
5. Be creative. Go to the theatre, discover new music, play an instrument (or five) and take up a new hobby.
6. Be kind, generous, and charitable towards others. I struggle to think of many people more generous and charitable than my Father. And while ‘charity’ in our society is all too commonly a self-rewarding act (ie. to make the giver feel good about themselves), it is far more rewarding to do good deeds for no other reason than to help others.
7. Have impeccable manners. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in or the company you’re with, this will always be true. Whenever I’ve felt intimidated by the presence or people far more esteemed than I, I’ve taken his advice. Simply being nice will always get you far, and a genuine smile is rarer and more memorable than you might imagine. (And though it may sometimes seem as though those who ruthlessly pursue power often get further in their pursuits, those with manners will always go further in the end). Being clever and looking neat at all times don’t hurt on this front either.
8. Live simply. Don’t get caught up in an obsession with meaningless consumerism that doesn’t make us truly happy, when the simplest things are usually the best. Whenever I’m feeling underpaid or craving too many frivolous things I don’t really need, I’ll take his advice and spend time reading a good book instead. Far better for the soul, I say.
9. Learn another language (or eight, in the case of my Father – he would have made a marvellous secret agent with all those languages!). Besides being an impressive life skill and an invaluable tool for all that travelling, there is no better way to understand another culture than by learning their language (I’ve seen my dad walk into a room and break the ice with people from all over the world who can barely speak a word of English, and instantly they will warm to him).
10. Keep calm and carry on. Although has lived through remarkable turbulence (wars, upheavals), I have never met anyone with the unshakable calm that my Father demonstrates. When I once asked him why he never gets angry or does anything rash, he said there was simply no point and that if he feels frustrated, he simply sits down and thinks through the problem from all angles until it makes sense. If in doubt, put on the kettle and mull things over with a cup of tea and a loved one.
What did your own Father teach you?
Love, Miss B xx
http://broadsideblog.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/for-fathers-day-my-dads-13-gifts/
Our Dads sound remarkably alike…mine is an award-winning film-maker who’s won international acclaim for his work…and I was raised with very similar values, as my blog post makes clear.
I was never told to be anything specific professionally (but excel!!!!!) and that gave me the freedom and confidence to try all sorts of things.
He definitely taught me numbers 1-5, and especially number 10. It’s a very valuable lesson for a young woman, as so many are encouraged to be weak or helpless or dramatic. One of the challenges of an exceptionally cool Dad is finding a guy for yourself who even vaguely measures up!
Very beautiful post Bryony. Unfortunately I don’t have a Father like yours, he was a serial cheat which broke the marriage and relationship with his 5 kids. I so wish I had a Father like yours, such an incredible story.
x
Don’t worry Kit, my father was also the same and then my mother met my Stepfather and he was the best Father figure ever and I am so lucky to live around the corner from him now; he still has a large impact on my life with my own girls. (And if it was not for him, I wouldn’t have my baby sister) Just remember your birth father may not be the one you always dreamed of, as long as you find a substitute in a neighbour, friend, step parent or even a mentor that you admire. We can’t choose our family, but we can change the pattern and choose our partner to learn and live our life with 🙂 Danielle xo
What a nice post! Mine has taught me to love nature (which is difficult because I love the city a lot!). He used to create fairy tales for us and now I’m writing one for my son. Best regards from the other side of the world.
Marta
What a *truly* beautiful and inspiring set of life lessons.
Alina x
Read this post last night when it hit my inbox, just remembered to comment on…
Well what an inspiring post, by the sounds of it you have a great father who has taught you some valuative things in life. I cannot say my father taught me much, or made much of an impact in my life – my mother on the other hand taught me everything, and I have a lot of respect for her.
Great post B! x
Your dad must be some remarkable man,just like mine was. He passed away when I was 17 and has been missed every day since then. He pretty much taught me all the wonderful things you mentioned in your post. But also he’s the one I owe my love for style and fashion to. He was a designer and an amazing craftsman and always had a very unique and personal style. And now, every time I work hard (like he did) and save up to own something special and timeless, I think how (no matter what) incredibly similar to our parents we all are.
Inspirational, amazing post… I feel the need to bookmark this to remind myself of the lessons! Thank you for writing it xx
Your dad sounds like an amazing person B – I can see where you get it from! Loved reading this and I nodded along heartily to no. 7 in particular. Sadly my father decided a long time ago that he wants nothing to do with his kids but I take heart from the fact that SC is constantly inspired and loved by her dad everyday! xxx
Oddly completely different to my fathers worldly advice, but equally inspiring and wonderful. Although my dad would nod accordingly to number 8! Lovely to hear this personal insight from you x x
Wonderful 🙂 Lucky girl to have such an amazing relationship! What part of the science world is he in? XX
This is a beautiful post B and I can see where you get your smarts from! I had no idea he had been knighted but what an honour! I bet he is so proud of you 🙂 xxx
Your father reminds me of my own. It made me smile to read this as I lost him to cancer two years ago but a large part of who I am is down to everything I learnt from him.
Beautiful Post B xx
Ah, your papa sounds like a wonderfully fellow.
I shall follow some of his advise above. Mind you I love being silly.
My papa always taught me to be always in touch with my inner child.
I have to say, you have been blessed with a wonderful and inspiring person for a father. Even though we all love our parents, at some point in our lives when we stop idolizing them and just see them as people ( who happen to be our parents), we can see what kind of person they really are.
xxxx
M
Tip No. 7
amazing advice to pass on !
I’m on the contrary lost my father alomst 21 yrs ago I was fairly young but my mother been there for me all along!
Loved your blog, Salutations all the way from Kuwait 🙂
Hi Briony, You don’t know me but I am lucky enough to know your father. It was lovely to read of your memories and the things that your Dad taught you, as a child growing up. I too had an amazing Dad. He had to raise my 2 brothers and myself, by himself, when our mother left us. I love him for the tenacity that he showed and his WILL; to prove to people that he could do it. He taught me many things, but most of all to LOVE and NEVER to give up! Regards, Pauline
Thank you so much for leaving a note on my blog! This post brought me to tears. I couldn’t believe how much similarity there was. So beautiful. So glad the interwebs introduced us! Can’t wait to read more. 🙂 with grace & gumption, Hilary
I think me and your father would get along very well – all of these I live by, and 8 languages wow! I hope to be as intelligent as your father one day. I adore your blog and you seem like such a lovely and down to earth girl. I will always be reading XOXO
Lovely post, and it’s not a big deal, but Father’s Day in Australia isn’t til September… I think you meant in the UK?
Never mind! It’s from the archives!
Yep, I actually wrote this post 4 years ago, but thought it would be fun to dig it out again in honour of it being Father’s Day in the UK and U.S. xx