This was going to be a post about what I’ve been up to and how much I love this outfit (and it’s true – I’ve been wearing a version of this look at least a couple of times a week), but then I realised everything I’m wearing perfectly sums up how I feel about my style lately. Being in your thirties is great for so many reasons (the special ability to gain weight just by looking at chocolate and an inability to drink notwithstanding), but I love how it ushers in a sense of confidence – both with your own self, as well as with your own style. You know what you like, what just doesn’t work with your shape or lifestyle, and you don’t feel guilty spending a little more to get what you want. While I can’t say with authority that these are universal to all women in their thirties (I’d love to know your ‘rules’), these are the five guiding principals that determine everything I buy and wear this season:
1. It’s about the cost-per-wear, not the price tag. The beauty of being in your thirties is that you already have all the things you already really need. When I shop now it’s not because I actually need something, but rather because I like it more than something I already own, or because I’m replacing something which has seen better days. So, in both an effort to shop more ethically + responsibly, and to build a more ‘grown-up’ wardrobe filled only with things I really love and know I’ll still be wearing for years to come, I’ve been thinking more about how much something is on a cost-per-wear basis rather than how much something actually costs to buy. To break it down: a £50 pair of shoes that hurt my feet + only last a season are false economy when compared to the £300 version that look better + last a decade. Take this dress for example; while it was definitely more than I’d normally spend on a single piece, I knew I’d get so much wear out of it for years to come that it would work out cheaper than a high street version in the long run. And true to my word, I’ve already worn it so much since I bought it at the start of April (basically as soon as it’s out of the wash, I’m wearing it again) that halfway through the season it’s already down to £30 p/wear – much better than a £100 dress I don’t love as much and only wear twice.
So whether your shopping budget is £200 a season or £2000, think of it this way: it’s better to spend that money on just one or two pieces that cost a little more but which make you feel wonderful and will stand the test of time (with just a couple of inexpensive pieces to have fun with thrown in) vs buying a whole mass of cheap pieces which don’t excite you when you put them on and which won’t hold up well next year. Quality over quantity, always.
2. Celebrate your own style, not trends. Which leads me to my next point. While your 20s are a great time for experimenting with your style, by your 30s you should have figured out your style and what you like (or don’t). Which makes shopping all the easier – you should know which pieces will be able to fit seamlessly into your existing wardrobe, rather than feel the need to reinvent your style every season (as pretty much the entire fashion industry would have us do). For me that means I’m embracing this season’s spots (I’ve loved + worn them as long as I can remember) and basket bags (they fondly remind me of the baskets my mum used to wear with all her summer dresses and I love the way they look with my own summer wardrobe), while giving a wide berth to the tiny cateye sunglasses (which look absurdly awkward on my round face) and 90s slip dresses (this girl needs a little more coverage) which are everywhere this season. Pick and choose the trends to have fun with and incorporate them into your wardrobe if they feel true to your style, and feel free to completely ignore those styles you know won’t work with 90% of what you already own or be something you can picture yourself wearing next year. In short, buy what you really love and ignore everything else – regardless of what all the ‘cool girls’ are wearing.
3. If the shoes hurt, you don’t have to wear them. You’d think I would have figured this one out sooner, but for years I’d force myself to wear gorgeous heels all summer even though they’re really not practical when it’s hot and you’re walking around all day. Now I save the skyscrapers for the office or parties or cooler months (when heels seem to feel less torturous). I can’t give up my heels completely, so invested in a few pairs of block-heel sandals and these espadrilles which team perfectly with all my white and black summer dresses (and everything in between) and give just enough height, but are so comfortable I know I can wear them for hours without hating my feet. Because life is too short for blisters.
Wearing: Dress // Shoes // Bag // Sunglasses // Necklace
4. Natural fabrics only. Even in the mild English summers, it is almost always scorching hot on the train/bus/tube. After nearly passing out on the Central line more than once last summer while wearing an organza dress, between the months of May-September I now vow to only wear breathable fabrics and pieces which don’t leave me a sweaty mess by the time I arrive at work. Just say ‘no’ to polyester.
5. Leave the body hangups at home. I get it. We all have the parts we’re not crazy about, and it’s absolutely ok to dress to emphasise the parts we do love instead. I’ve never loved my thighs (except when I’m cycling around town or working out in the gym, at which point I’m proud of how strong they are), and at some point I just decided I wasn’t going to wear anything above the knee. Which was all going perfectly well until I tried this dress on, immediately fell in love, but then two minutes later decided I wasn’t going to buy it because it showed too much of my knees. My husband – who was with me in the store – kindly pointed out that I was being ridiculous, reminded me that while there are many things people could have issues with, their knees were not one of those things, and told me I should buy the dress. So here I am, wearing the dress (despite my irrational knee/thigh hangups) just because I love it.
Moral of the story: it’s normal and ok to have body issues from time to time, but don’t let those issues become crippling and hold you back from wearing the things we really want to wear. Dress to celebrate your body – if you feel fantastic when you put it on, wear it!
Wearing: Zimmermann dress (also comes in black + in this midi dress version) // Whistles bag (past season, but this year’s version – which is even cuter – available here + clutch version here) // Castaner espadrilles (also available in a lower heel + in these colours) // CELINE sunglasses (also come in TORTOISESHELL) // MISSOMA necklace // Anthropologie earrings (past season, but similar style here) // J.CREW bracelet (past season, but similar style HERE) // MONICA VINADER ring // SYDNEY EVAN ‘love’ ring.
Beauty: Fresh sugar tinted lip balm in ‘Candy’ // Charlotte Tilbury blush in ‘Love Glow’ // Deborah Lippmann nail polish in ‘Shape of my Heart’ // Clarins tanning lotion.
What are the style rules you’ve adopted as you’ve got over? I’d love to hear your wisdom below!
Love, Briony xx
Photos by Joe Galvin
Oh I love this! I feel the same way about all these rules, especially natural fabrics. I just can’t do polyester!
Haha, at some point I just thought: life is too short for sweaty clothes! Silk, linen and cotton all the way!
Briony xx
Hi Briony! Congratulations on the new blog, it’s stunning! I agree with all of your comments above 🙂 I’ve also been thinking about cost-per-wear recently, especially with regard to shoes. My go-to brand for shoes is L.K.Bennett, but I’ve been considering updating my basics to Jimmy Choo – I was wondering if you thought that the luxury shoe brands really are better in terms of style, comfort and durability than LKB or Russell & Bromley for example? Xx
Personally I am more willing to invest in designer bags and shoes because I know they’re more timeless pieces that – cared for properly – will last for years and years. I don’t think *all* your shoes need to be designer (obviously) but if it’s a classic style you know you’re going to love for years, it’s worth investing a little more. I still definitely buy less expensive shoes each year (J. Crew are my favourite, and now the Castaner espadrilles pictured in this post), but I always find that my designer shoes (especially my Ferragamo flats, Jimmy Choo, and Kate Spade heels) are generally more comfortable and will last longer than the cheaper versions – so I do think they work out the same (or cheaper) on a cost-per-wear basis. I hope that helps!
Briony xx
As a fellow gal in her 30s I couldn’t agree more with all of these!
Amen!
Briony xx
My early thirties were a continuation of my twenties, but somewhere around 35 I started to a) invest in bettter quality (everything from underwear to shoes) and b) worry that my ‘old’ style was a little too ‘young’. I started to impose rules on myself – no minis, sleeves on everything, nothing too ‘girlie’ and I am not quite sure why. I still love minis, and who wants sleeves in the height of summer, but still the niggling feeling remains.
I completely agree with all of this; for me it wasn’t a conscious decision to ‘change’ my style in any way (and I don’t think anything is drastically different), but rather just that there comes a point where you just crave a certain style and it becomes more about quality than quantity.
Briony xx
I agree with these rules and try to do the same. Luckily financially I have the choice to do this (but I know many could not justify the initial outlay).
That’s true, and I definitely appreciate that not everyone can afford to invest in the better quality pieces in the first instance (I just found I’ve got to a point where I have enough clothes in my wardrobe that I’d now rather save up for the pieces I know I’ll wear for years rather than something much cheaper I know won’t last for the long haul).
Briony xx
Agree with all of these, and you’ve got such a lovely style!
This might seem an odd suggestion but if that dress comes up in the sale you should buy it again, have the bottom section taken off and added to your current dress to make it a little longer, and keep the new one as a top. Then you’d have two beautiful outfits you’re completely comfortable with.
Thank you so much! I’m normally a fan of midi dresses more than mini these days, but actually love the way this one sits just above the knee (but such a good idea to convert another dress into a top and skirt).
Briony xx